The Onion Movie

America's Finest News Source.

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Comedy

Len Cariou

(Norm Archer)

Steven Seagal

(Cock Puncher)

Larissa Laskin

(Dana Dobbs)

Ken Takemoto

(Sensei)

Don McManus

(Dennis McCormick)

Michael Bolton

(Michael Bolton)

Ahmed Ahmed

(Ahmed)

Brendan Fletcher

(White Black Guy Tim)

Daniel Dae Kim

(Ivy Leaguer)

Meredith Baxter

(Cooking Show Chef)

Jed Rees

(Wizard Proteus)

Rodney Dangerfield

(Rodney Dangerfield)

Ahmed B. Badran

(Peruvian)

Brian Powell

(Typical Neighbor Husband)

Scott Klace

(Kip Kendall)

Barbara Pilavin

(Alzheimers Old Lady)

Sandy Kenyon

(Alzheimers Guy in Crowd)

Orlando Seale

(Producer)

Erik Stolhanske

(Producer)

Sarah McElligott

(Melissa Cherry)

Randy Oglesby

(Surgeon General)

Kwame Boateng

(Dibo)

Richard Fancy

(Kenneth Garber)

Alex Solowitz

(The Masses)

Savannah Haske

(Rapist Lisa)

Rebecca Lowman

(Rape Victim Julie)

Jim Gleason

(Steel Beam Architect)

Michael Harney

(Line-Up Detective)

Angel Cassidy

(Porn Star)

Gauge

(Porn Star)

Robert Hoffman

(Lollipop Love Dancer)

Joel McHale

(Office Worker)

Harry Shum Jr.

(Lollipop Love Dancer)

Kevin Federline

(Lollipop Love Dancer)

Bo Barrett

(Wigger Jim)

Chrissy Metz

(Heavy Girl)

Marshall Manesh

(Announcer)

Greg Cipes

(Hippie Diplomant)

Nick Chinlund

(Bryce Brand)

Jim Rash

(Bryce's Manager)

Paul Scheer

(Bates Computer Salesman Dirk)

John Viener

(Peen Out Guy)

Gedde Watanabe

(James Nakatami)

Chris Villa

(Gay Guy)